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Joke of the Day

"One day, i came across a mute man, and he said"

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"How did the rabbit know his wife was cheating on him? There was a hare in his bed."
"Honestly, guys, I think I've made the perfect woman this time. She's made totally out of waffles. And her clitoris is on her forehead."
"I took the shell off of my racing snail.... I thought it would make him go faster, but if anything it made him more sluggish."
"If I'm old enough to be your mother we can't date. Just kidding. Go ask for your allowance and buy me a drink."
"What's your best elephant joke sequence?"
"Maybe she's born with zits, maybe it's methamphetamine"
"What do you call an Argentinian victim of grand theft auto? Carlos"
"""Have you tried putting balogna in it?"" ~me, as a marriage counselor"
"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One."