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Joke of the Day

"nock nock whos der? i dunt no anser da door"

"My grandpa told me that ""your generation relies too much on technology."" I responded with, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology."" Then I unplugged his life support."

"Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don't get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case..."

"What is the difference between Hillary Clinton and the hookers in downtown Little Rock? The hookers have real orgasms and fake diamonds."

"It was obvious from the camera angle it was AMC killing it's viewers. #TWDfinale"

"Id like to thank the Walmart cashier for making me feel like big money. I guess you don't see many $20 bills, glad you made sure its legit."

"Just killed a cricket at work, and, long story short, I'm now being asked to audition for Riverdance."

"My friends all say I'm a cocaine addict, but I disagree. I just like the smell."

"McDonald's should start gearing ads toward their target audience: husky toddlers and seagulls."

"Did you hear about the boss that slept with his secretary and then fired her? He really gave her the shaft."