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Joke of the Day

"nock nock whos der? i dunt no anser da door"

"How could batman possibly defeat superman? Put him on a horse I'm now going to hell with the rest of you..."

"You can say what you like about deaf people. As long as you are not directly facing them."

"A pickup line for people named Matt. ""Hey girl, you should sleep with me, my name's short for mattress."" (Just made it up today, please don't hate me.)"

"If seagulls fly over the sea,what flies over the bay? Bagels. Ha."

"Still a lotta racism down south. Just today I saw some asshole on his whiteberry."

"My boss was all, ""Do you know why I called you to the office, "" and I was like, ""I dunno is there a hidden security camera in the bathroom."""

"Why can't the T-Rex play the piano? Cause they're dead!"

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you drink through that?"

"It's actually pretty convenient the Alan Rickman died so soon after David Bowie. You can just move your lightning bolt up a few inches for the funeral and fit right in."