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Joke of the Day
"What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you drink through that?"
Next Joke
"If Hillary wins the election... Will she hire immigrants to install the glass ceiling in the White House?"
"How many aardvarks can ride on an elephant? Six... three on the back and three in the trunk!"
"Actual text from 17 y/o son: kin u com bi nd swoop me? I hope he means hit him with my car, because that's the plan"
"I wonder who coined the term money."
"Why did Hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi"
"[announcement over PA at work] ""FREE TACOS IN THE BREAKROOM"" *I walk there so fast the noise from my corduroys breaks everyone's eyeglasses*"
"My brother didnt take kindly to jail. He refused food & drink, and smeared feces on the walls. That's the last time we're playing Monopoly."
"MY WEDDING: tetris theme plays as i slowly inch down the aisle, trying to perfectly fit my finger in the ring"
"They call me nubby He announced as he entered the bar. One of the regulars ask why? Will let me warn you about telling her to eat it like a hotdog."