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Joke of the Day
"Why don't my dog and my cat get along? She's a Re-puppy-can and he's a Demo-cat!"
Next Joke
"Why doesn't anyone in [insert nations capital] use the toilet in the morning? So they have something to do at night."
"Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost."
"Political opinions are like assholes If yours shows up in my Facebook feed I will probably block you"
"A magic tractor turns into a field... ...think about it..."
"Small penises are like iPhones with cracked screens... They serve their purpose but nobody really wants one."
"You know those old movies with Jackie Chan where he is reluctant to fight in the beginning, but then he warms up starts swinging like there is no tomorrow?! ... I'm the same way with drinking."
"I'd like to thank my exs for encouraging me to learn about cars. Like how to cut the break lines, hoses, or discreetly slash a tire."
"Just text my husband to tell him he left his phone behind & someone is calling him. And now someone's texting him."
"How did that bullfight come out? Oh it was a toss-up!"