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Joke of the Day

"Time I spend listening to music 54 seconds. Time I spend untangling headphones 17 minutes"

"My wife said she wants another baby and if I play my cards right, I can be the father."

"Saying ""guns don't kill people, bullets do"" is like saying ""I haven't raped anyone, but my dick has."""

"I saw two blind men fighting And I yelled out ""I'm rooting for the one with the knife"" Then they both ran away"

"Why did the skeleton not go to prom? He had no *body* to go with!!! As told by a Professor, in a serious Aerospace class, reading off of Laffy Taffy."

"I went to the store today and bought a movie called ""Tiger Woods' 18 Greatest Holes"" When I got home, I was disappointed, it was about golf"

"I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM, BECAUSE GRANDPA FORGOT TO WEAR HIS HEARING AIDS AGAIN!"

"Where did the sick boat go to get a checkup? The Dock!"

"If you get nervous at a nude beach, just imagine everyone in their underwear."

"What's the difference between 10 dead hookers and a Porsche? I *don't* have a Porsche in my garage."