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Joke of the Day

"A Doctor and patient Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine""."

"I've always identified with Professor Calamitous from Jimmy Neutron... But I never bothered to figure out why."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because no body liked you in high school, and then you caught me speeding."

"I'd love to hear an actor honestly answer the ""How did you prepare for today?"" red carpet question with ""Cocaine and sit ups."" #GoldenGlobes"

"Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in..."

"""I heard low winter sun is pretty good."" - low winter sun from behind a bush trying to throw it's voice"

"What's better than 29 year olds? 20 9 year olds ( ) Sorry"

"A gymnast walks on a bar."

"*Buys world map* *Pins map to wall* *Promises to visit wherever dart lands* *Throws dart at fridge*"

"What do you get when you cross a Centaur with a Minotaur? Cinnaminotaur. The most delicious of all mythological creatures."