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Joke of the Day

"How do you reuse a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the shit out of it!"

"Hey girl, are you a tube of Pringles? Because my whole fist is stuck inside of you"

"They should make condoms out of bubble wrap. *pop pop* Hee-hee! *pop pop pop* Hee-hee! *pop pop pop* Hee-hee-oh! *pop* That was fun!"

"My parachute didn't deploy At least I have the rest of my life to fix it."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped his coffee before it was cool."

"As a kid on summer nights I'd capture fireflies in a jar then show them to my father and say ""please buy me a sega this does nothing for me"""

"Me: I found this in the fridge with your name on it. Are you gonna eat it? CW: That's my stapler Me: You didn't answer my question"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or they're going to think we're nuts!"

"Your wife and your lawyer are drowning, you have a decision to make.... Fish or chicken for dinner?"

"water Water Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O. l"