197935
Joke of the Day
"Sometimes, when I'm bored, I tell my mother-in-law to relax."
Next Joke
"::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I'm terribly sorry. I suffer from colon cancer."
"Like father, like son Son: Dad, why do people suffer so much in life? Dad: ... for the final five push-ups."
"Tape Recording for Beginners by Cass Ette"
"I can't wait until humans move to a new planet and someone says, 'Remember having 24-hour days?' and some jerk responds, 'First world problems.' -Geoffrey Asmus"
"*Makes sure the new girl at work sees how much pineapple I eat at lunch* *winks*"
"SCORE! Some girl on my friends list asked me to meet her for drinks tonight! All I need to do is hit the ATM and lose 70 lbs by 8 O'Clock."
"If you love someone, let them go. If they don't come back, detonate the explosive collar."
"My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I'm bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge..."
"Girlfriend's mascara died and I gave it a funeral, you know what they say... Lashes to lashes and dust to dust."