197935

Joke of the Day

"Sometimes, when I'm bored, I tell my mother-in-law to relax."

"Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser? Because he clearly owed the win to Miller."

"Management tip - only hire bald guys. They don't have anything going on besides work."

"How many times do I have to tell you this Mom? I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage."

"Have you heard of the movie called ""Diarrhea""? It's okay if you haven't - it was a quick release."

"[biologists find beached whale] its a new species what can we call it? [surfer walks by] yo killer whale bro [biologists look at each other]"

"A somewhat amusing joke Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had LOCOmotives"

"If you go to an animal shelter and ask for a cat, they get really upset if you play them like a guitar and scream ROCK YOU LIKE A FURRICANE."

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... then every year we could save millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of aids."

"Schools are giving kids a bad influence nowadays..... When they go into the real world they'll be expecting free handouts."