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Joke of the Day

"I got a prison tattoo of mitochondria Now I truly am the powerhouse of the cell"

"My friend said to me, ""If I wasn't mixing cocktails, I'd be a criminal."" ..... Either way, he's behind bars."

"How is the world like a bag of jellybeans? Nobody likes the black ones."

"I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."

"Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it!"

"I'll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my grandad in that concentration camp during the war... Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion..."

"A woman got complimented for her driving..."

"Who won the first Tour de France? The 7th German Panzer division"

"Sleep tight! Your brain is a billion times more complex than your laptop. And laptops break all the time."

"Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9? Because... Windows 7 8 9."