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Joke of the Day

"Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it!"

"""I wish you would stop staring at my breasts. "" said the barmaid, ""you're making me uncomfortable. "" ""Uncomfortable?"" I replied, ""you want to try sitting on one of these stools with an hard on. """

"what did the leper say to the hooker Keep the tip."

"I currently own a system which is exactly 14 times better than Windows 7. I call it: Windows 98."

"If I had a dollar If i had a dollar for every time a homeless guy asked me for money, I still wouldn't give him any."

"Where do bacteria go when they die? St. Petri Dish."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a grape? Elephant grape sine theta."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care now and I probably won't care later."

"[firemen meeting] if we had a pole instead of stairs, we could get to the trucks much quicker *from back* ""why dont we just sit downstairs?"""

"The grass is always greener, but usually because it's synthetic AstroTurf."