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Joke of the Day

"When I go down on you, it makes you very happy. And when I come back up I will fuck you good and hard. What am I? Gas prices."

"How do make a car top? 'Tep on the brake 'tupid."

"[gets exhausted after having sex for five minutes] ""Go on without me"""

"How much is 5Q and 5Q? 10Q. ""You're welcome. """

"Fighting childhood obesity.... ....is as easy as taking candy from a baby."

"How do you make a baby float? 2 scoops ice cream 1 scoop dead baby"

"Why were the twin towers disappointed? They ordered pepperoni and all they got was plane."

"What did one mexican say to the other mexican when there were no room in the van? Yo no space."

"If you're robbing my house, just bring a second guy to eat a pizza in front of my dog while you take whatever you want."

"Hey chicks who wear a buttload of make-up. Don't borrow someone else's iPhone to make a call. You leave half of your face on the screen."