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Joke of the Day

"My Dad always said never use any shortcuts. Probably why it takes him so fucking long to do anything on the computer"

"Why do most people from Russia wear track suits? Because they are Russin'"

"I know the real reason the Pope is resigning. He finally realized that they were never going to promote him to God."

"We're having a Jamaican hair day at work tomorrow I'm dreading it already."

"Kanye tryin to get a parrot to talk, says to him: Polly want a cracker? Parrot look at Kanye, say Nigger want a watermelon?"

"Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas. Neighbor: Nice. I got- Me: I know. I watched you guys open everything."

"Would a cosplay of the Hunchback of Notre Dame be called... ... a quasi-Quasimodo?"

"What's M. Night Shyamalan's favorite flavor of ice cream? Twist"

"What's your most fucked up joke? I'm looking for the most cancerous jokes you can think of."

"I'm so proud of myself. I went to Costco hungry and only spent $17,000."