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Joke of the Day

"Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left him."

"What do you call a root vegetable wearing a tank top? A bro-tato"

"My wife said she'll leave me if I don't overcome my poker addiction but I think she's bluffing"

"If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Remember when you were young and everything was new and you were filled with optimism and hope? Anyway here's a new thing to buy from Apple."

"What's a ghost's favorite type of porn? Boookakke!"

"Does anyone want to come over and stare at our phones?"

"What's the difference between a hipster and a lumberjack? The lumberjack has a job."

"By a show of hands, who has hands? Sit down Leonard, you're a seahorse."