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Joke of the Day

"Bad news is I'm not fluent in Starbucks. Good news is I ordered a skinny Latin, and Marc Anthony is a real sweetheart."

"I was thrown out of the hospital for improper conduct with children Apparently dressing up like the grim reaper and pointing at anti-vaxxer's kids isn't okay."

"What do you call that mean guy who keeps waking you up? A myoclonic jerk."

"*comes home from work *wife jumps in my arms *sees I'm crying wife: Why are you crying? me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack"

"What do I have that FC Barcelona doesn't? A semi"

"The word ""nothing"" is a palindrome. ""Nothing"" reversed is ""Gnihton"". Which also means nothing."

"Stephen is a much nicer name than ""hen from a previous marriage."""

"What's the difference between a women's track team and a group of midgets playing chess? The latter is a group of cunning runts."

"I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high She told me she's tired of my repost BS and divorced me. It was definitely a surprise."

"Fuck you ""string"" cheese! Don't tell me how to eat you!"