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Joke of the Day
"Automatic doors don't work when running full speed. I know that now."
Next Joke
"TIL Amedeo Avogadro died of skin cancer. He never got that nasty mol checked."
"Perspective is everything. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the live lobsters in the ship's galley."
"Involuntary Owl Knock knock. Who's there? Involuntary owl. Involuntary owl who?"
"A neutron walk in to a bar... A neutron walk in to a bar, orders a beer and asks: How much? The bartender looks at him and replies: For you, no charge!"
"Why don't Mexican's cross the border in three's? Because it says no *tres*passing"
"The Devil has his own Bible. He's releasing it slowly in internet comment threads all across the web."
"What do you call heavy metal music written about fruit? Applecore. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Nietzsche: God is dead God: Nietzsche is dead [they both turn to camera] THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE DEAD SERIOUS ABOUT OUR MATTRESS PRICES"
"I hate pillow talk when I sleep alone. It just gets me down."