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Joke of the Day

"Nietzsche: God is dead God: Nietzsche is dead [they both turn to camera] THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE DEAD SERIOUS ABOUT OUR MATTRESS PRICES"

"what does the bermuda triangle and blonds have in common they both swallow a lot of sea men"

"So Trump wants to ban Muslims. But if prohibition has taught me anything it's that people will just make Muslims in their bathtubs."

"Research suggests that when someone disagrees with you, you should speak faster so they have less time to process what you're saying."

"I will not be composing any quality posts today. So just keep scrolling."

"You were really beautiful until Your 30 day trial of Photoshop ended."

"Cigarettes only give you cancer if you let them. It's called science. Maybe you'd know more about it if you read as many Yahoo Answers as me"

"Whats a rapists perfect date? Netflix and kill."

"I don't mind lesbians, actually. They're still women who won't sleep with me, but at least it's nothing personal."

"Thought I was having a good hair day. Mother Nature likes to keep my ego in check though. She's really good at that."