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Joke of the Day

"Curiosity doesn't kill anything, stupidity does."

"I have started a band called Free Beer. When people see our sign 'Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM' I'm sure everyone is going to be there."

"A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk' to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly. Winston Churchill."

"Why shouldn't you wear loose fitting shorts when visiting Ukraine? Because Chernobyl fallout"

"Little Known Fact: Bon Jovi has five brothers: Bon Joi, Bon Joii, Bon Joiii, Bon Joiv and Bon Jov"

"I only use them to look at women, so I like to call them heteronoculars."

"Me: ""I can't turn on the shower"" Plumber: ""It's seen you naked so often the excitement's gone. Try dressing up"" *Hands over shower cap*"

"The people I work with are a bunch of potatoes They're definitely tator-taught."

"And remember kids, when you go to Target, there really is no ""non creepy"" way to ask where the Vaseline is."

"The Bangles are getting their own cooking show. Wok Like an Egyptian"