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Joke of the Day

"Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday . . .the bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!"

"Why do failing college girls always screw their professors? Cause they want the D."

"The greatest pickup line of all time... Let's be friends."

"THE ROOSTER ALSO CALLED A COCK LOVES THE KITTY WET THE CAT FALLS INTO A BUCKET OF WATER THE ROOSTER LAUGHS THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS A COCK LIKES A WET PUSSY."

"I say we give them 1 more day and if they can't come to an agreement then we initiate the 1st U.S. Hunger Games."

"Hear About the Restaurant on the Moon? Hear about the restaurant on the Moon? Great food but no atmosphere."

"If I had a dollar for every repost I saw on r/Jokes... I'd have like a lot of money."

"Why was the doctor so stressed out? He lost his patients..."

"[Opens a beer at the park] ""Dude. There's kids here."" Oh shit how rude of me. [turns] IF YOU KIDS WANT SOME BEERS THEYRE IN THE COOLER"

"Long story short, hitler beat me up and has my time machine."