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Joke of the Day

"I think my brother is addicted to huffing paint. It's written all over his face."

"Naming a dog after alcohol is cute until they run away and you scream their name until your neighbor brings you a bottle to shut you up."

"Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says ""Help, need ride!"

"Have you ever visited the area between Thailand and Vietnam? Don't bother. It's pretty Laos-y."

"After Monday and Tuesday Even the calendar says W T F"

"50 years ago, nerds were smart. Now a nerd is just someone who likes Star Wars and eats a lot of cereal."

"if at first you dont suceed... ...then skydiving definitely isnt for you."

"What's E.T. short for? So he can fit in his spaceship."

"Who is your's Your Father's- Mother's- daunghter-in-law's husband is your?"

"Did you hear about the scarf that Eva Braun knitted for Hitler? He said it was kampfy and that he reiched it a lot, but that it could have used fuhrer stitches."