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Joke of the Day
"I think my brother is addicted to huffing paint. It's written all over his face."
Next Joke
"Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue."
"My mum tells me that she turns the internet off when she goes to bed, incase you're wondering why your screen just went blank."
"What do you call a gore thriller that can't get enough funding? A film that needs morbids."
"Baby, let's stay up all night and watch people Instagram the sunrise."
"Just got a job working in a full size cuckoo clock. It's not great, but it gets me out the house."
"My doctor just used a tongue depressor on me so I'm going out for ice cream to cheer the little guy up."
"I used to wonder what it'd be like to read other people's minds. Then I got a Twitter account, and I'm over it."
"My middle finger is always ready to give you a standing ovation after you say something stupid."
"Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!"