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Joke of the Day

"What's it called when you hit somebody with sodium chloride? Assalt"

"What's the difference between five dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"Did you know: the average American spends 8,000 years of their life refilling Brita water pitchers."

"I apologize for pinching your lips closed when you started telling me about your kids"

"what's wrong son? that kid said he's cooler than me what? impossible. what kid? *in my head im like don't be the kid with pegs on his bike*"

"Patient: Hey that tooth you pulled wasn't the one I wanted pulled. Dentist: Relax I'm coming to it."

"Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the 6 if you'll be the 9."

"He who goes to sleep face down... Crack up."

"Gift horse ""My gums are bleeding."" Dentist ""Well this is a professional dilemma..."""

"What type of punch hurts kids the most? A sandy hook"