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Joke of the Day
"Why did the little girl in the flower dress fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms."
Next Joke
"Elsa My daughter just told me this before bed. Why is Elsa not allowed a balloon? Because she'll let it goooo"
"I put a ruler under my bed every night... so that I can measure how long I slept for"
"[date] HER: no more Scooby Doo imitations ME: ok WAITER: today's special is baby octopus ME: [Shaggy voice] zoinks HER: I'm done ME: ruh roh"
"I could tell my parents truly loved me as a child. My bath toys were a toaster, radio and a blow dyer."
"How did a Chinese spy disguise himself as an Arab in America? He became a Muslim."
"Where are the best leaders made? Flint, Michigan."
"Why was Vladimir late to gym class? cause he was Putin his shoes on XD"
"What did the 0 say to the 8? ... Hey, nice belt.."
"When a woman asks for some time, and some space... ... she's trying to calculate speed"