209369
Joke of the Day
"I put a ruler under my bed every night... so that I can measure how long I slept for"
Next Joke
 
"*pops out of casket at funeral* ok but when I actually die you guys better have nicer things to say"
"If I had a dollar for every downvote... I'd be rich from this post."
"As a woman it's annoying when men think they are better drivers When I'm trying to park I don't need you to offer help every 20 minutes"
"Why do cowboys like dachshunds so much? They like to get a long little doggie."
"What Do You Call it When Printers Have a Party? A paper jam"
"Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven't pissed in 8 hrs"
"While standing in the queue looking at my phone... I'm online online"
"He called my girlfriend a whore. So I called him an ambulance."
"What is the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Lukewarm."