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Joke of the Day

"9000 people are having sex right now, 2000 are kissing, 100 are geting head and you are reading my status. Hang in there mate"

"Q: Why did the eskimo wash his clothes in Tide? A: Because it was too cold outside."

"The cow says ""Moo."" The pig says ""Oink."" The dog says Ed..ward."

"What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry"

"How to make someone disappear from your life forever. Ask them to pay you back."

"Why did the contraceptive fly across the room? It got pissed off. . (I'll get my coat...)"

"If you come home n your dog gives you a lecture about smoking pot, you probably should lay off the acid too."

"What do you call a Rapper who smokes too much? Tupac-aday"

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? Because he's a fucking creep"

"What do gay guys call hemroids? Speed bumbs."