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Joke of the Day

"Girl, you're like a supermassive black hole... ...because you're incredibly dense, nothing is more attactive than you, and once you suck me in there's no going back."

"When you turn on a light and the bulb burns out it's because you suck and that bulb would rather kill itself than hang out with you."

"Why doesn't Monica Lewinsky like going to the doctor? He always shoves a Bill down her throat!"

"I have a genetic diarrhea disease... The shit runs in my family."

"What's the difference between a Mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a family I'll just see myself out."

"You know what they said about the year old sheep that kept getting into trouble... ...he was a mutton for punishment."

"What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels..."

"How do I know you're not a cop? ""If I was a cop, how would I have this?"" *shows police badge that just says 'Not a Cop' on it* Oh, okay good"

"My favourite joke when I was 9. ""Doctor, doctor, I feel like a row of theatres"" ""Did it happen suddenly?"" ""No, it came on in stages"""

"What do you say when comforting a grammar Nazi? There, their, they're"