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Joke of the Day

"C'mon, when have I ever let you down? That was rhetorical, actually. Yes, that is a lot. Wow, did not expect you to bring out a chalkboard."

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"What's the difference between David Bowie and porn? Porn sometimes features good music. R.I.P"
"Why are there so many trees in Harlem? For public transportation."
"I can tell so much about a person just by guessing."
"The twist in M. Night Shyamalan's next film is that it turns out to be a good movie."
"*drinks milkshake* *runs to yard* *sifts through all the boys* *sighs* *puts up more posters for missing son*"
"What's the difference between America and yoghurt? If you leave yoghurt alone for long enough it develops its own culture"
"Two snares and a cymbal walk off a cliff. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zXDo4dL7SU"
"THERAPIST: what's the problem? WIFE: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise"
"So I went to a fortune teller and asked if I was going to get any action that night. She told me she didn't deal in self fulfilling prophecies."