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Joke of the Day

"What does the right kidney say to the left one when he is mad at the other? Don't make me stone you to death.."

"What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Crib death."

"My dick is like an anchor... If it extends, I'm not going anywhere until it retracts."

"Have you ever heard of Christmas Adam? It comes before Eve and isn't nearly as satisfying"

"A Freudian slip is when you say one thing But you mean your mother.......I mean another"

"Misty's boss says to her: ""You've been late to work for 5 days straight! You know what this means, don't you?"" ..... ...to which Misty replied ""I SURE do! It means today must be FRIDAY!!!"""

"""And if all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you make up a story about jumping off a bridge too?""-- Teen Brian Williams' mother"

"Two TV antennas got married last weekend. The wedding was nothing special, but the reception was excellent."

"Offensively sexual** Whats the worst part about eating hairless pussy? You have to put the diaper back on after."

"""You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself"" ~ 5th Amendment, understood by nobody onTwitter."