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Joke of the Day

"Having a bit of a lazy day... sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss doesn't look amused"

"Birds that land and then WALK across the street... what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I used to pay out of pocket for Viagra... it was hard for a long time"

"I went to buy some condoms today, and I said to the pharmacist, 'Excuse me, I need some condoms.' He said, 'Just a minute.' And I said, 'Yep, that's my brand.'"

"how do you get over the heartache of an ex whose cat ur never gonna see again?"

"I know it's normal to be naked in front of your doctor, but I still get really self-conscious every time I go to the optometrist"

"I'm going to put my limbs into each corner of a fitted sheet and attempt to become a sugar glider."

"As an adult, it's exciting to know that I'll soon be old enough to play a high school student on ABC Family."

"Did you hear the new broom joke? It's sweeping the nation!"

"Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider... It was full of nerds so they split."