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Joke of the Day

"What happened to the guy that was trimming some bushes and accidentally sliced off his left arm?? Well they say he's ""allRIGHT"" xD"

"Blonde Brain Cells Q: How do blondes' brain cells die? A: Alone."

"A recent study of blue-collar workers showed that what they love best about their jobs is their days off."

"[Walks up to stranger] Me: ""Excuse me, would you take my picture?"" Him: ""Sure."" Me: ""Great!"" [I hand him a beautiful 5x7 portrait of me]"

"I often say to myself, ""I can't believe that cloning machine worked."""

"Anti-jokes: here are three of my favorite ones. Uno, eins, ichi"

"Okay, let's hear everyone's favorite ""Yo Mama"" jokes! Yo mama so fat she needs a boomerang to put a scarf on!"

"Just Googled camel toe, and it said, did you mean Travolta Chin?"

"Just received a full body scan. Airport lady says I should probably see a doctor but is frustratingly unspecific."

"Day two of the Insanity Workout. Half hour of talking to a lamp. Half hour of eating mulch. Fifty YouTube comments."