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Joke of the Day

"Why do they have sex ed and drivers ed on different days in Mexico? Because they need to give the donkey a break."

"You know you are a Physics nerd when.... Yo mamma so fat she attracts black holes"

"""I don't think you're ready for this jelly."" ~ me talking shit to my peanut butter sandwich."

"Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank? He got caught drinking on the job."

"A rabbi, a priest, and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, ""What is this? A joke?"""

"Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They have a machine that does that now."

"Yea, in life Jesus was a great man... ...but it was only when he was nailed to the cross that he became holy."

"ME: where's your brother? OLDEST CHILD: where's another roll of duct tape? ME: *sprints to the basement*"

"if God exists it's probably a woman no man holds a grudge for this long"

"Get your therapist to start taking you seriously by pulling a donut out of your purse."