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Joke of the Day
"How do you offend a vegan? Cover your ears with your hands"
Next Joke
"Why can't you tell when a Pterodactyl goes to the toilet Becuase the P is silent"
"In Russian thanksgiving, Turkey shoots you."
"Fishing... It's like sex. The less you get the more you lie."
"I was in bed with my boyfriend Ernie last night, and he said to me ""Soph, you got no tits and a tight box."" I said to him ""Ernie get off my back."" h/t: Bette Midler"
"I'm a Vegan Rasta... If I cannot smoke it, then I cannot eat it."
"""Our relationship is nice because we can sit silently and still have fun."" - cool thing to say to the person in bathroom stall next to you."
"""Surely EVERYONE pisses in the shower?"" I protest as I'm dragged out of Ikea"
"As a child my girlfriend loved train sets Most of my adult friends thinks its weird she still plays with them. I think it's perfectly normal for a 6 year old."
"The lifeguard caught me peeing in the pool, today. He shouted so loud I nearly fell in."