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Joke of the Day

"We should stop making racist jokes... ...enough of dark humour."

"Why should you never date a tennis player? Love means nothing to them."

"Shoplifting may be wrong in a general sense, but what if, for example, I'm bored of paying for things"

"[god inventing animals] okay here's a new one. It's an umbrella ""okay"" made out of jello ""alright"" and it electrocutes things ""you're drunk"""

"Daddy, can I have another cup of water? ""Sure, son. But it's your 12th cup tonight..."" ""I know, the baby's room is still on fire."""

"My dad said to me: Son, don't try to understand women. Women understand women... and they hate each other."

"""You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Trump won the election? IS IT BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!"" ""Mister President, we've been over this..."""

"A lesbian couple and a gay couple had a race to see who could get across the country to California first The lesbians arrived first, lickity split. The gay dudes were still at home packing their shit."

"I was in the mall the other day, and suddenly I found myself on the top floor ""Boy"", I thought to myself, ""that sure escalated quickly"""

"Where does a pencil sharpener keep its money? In a shavings account."