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Joke of the Day

"Everyone else gauges how productive their week is by how little time they had for Twitter too, right?"

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"Turns out a At Home DNA Test is not a good baby shower gift."
"What is Chris Brown's favorite drink? Punch!"
"Mother's have mother's day and father's have father's day. What do male redditors have? -Palm sunday"
"Your Majesty, the peasants are revolting! I know, I wish they would wash..!"
"I texted my wife with ""ROTFHAHA"" & she replied with ""LMAO"" so I don't think she understands that I'm having a heart attack."
"Beernuts and Deernuts What's the difference between Beernuts and Deernuts? Beernuts are $8.95 and Deernuts are under a buck!"
"Me: *enters exam room Doctor: Please take off your... M: *unbuttons pants D: ?? M: *pauses* D: GLASSES! D: I'M AN EYE DR DAMNIT!"
"How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? Eleven. One chief of police to oversee it, and 10 cops to beat the lightbulb until it wants to change."
"""Yesterday you were 3 Chainz and now it's 5 Chainz,"" Janet cried. ""Where does it stop?"" 8 Chainz frowned. ""14 Chainz doesn't have time for"
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