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Joke of the Day

"The cucumbers are taking over my garden and trying to starve all the other vegetables out. It's a war of nutrition."

"When I'm at the pool, hopefully girls see the scratches on my body and assume I'm a great lover, and not that I enjoy giving cats piggybacks"

"Listen up, guys Neil Diamond is the name of a famous American singer-songwriter but it's also a checklist for anyone about to propose"

"How come people who think they know everything never seem to know when to shut up?"

"I was looking for hours for my thread on Reddit.. Turns out I was browsing with the popular filter :("

"I was in Australia once and I saw someone play Stairway to Heaven on the didgeridoo. I said ""That's Aboriginal."""

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number; you've probably never heard of it."

"What did the Greek God say when he could finally take the world off his shoulders? At las!"

"Scientists predict human-level artificial intelligence by 2030... ...maybe sooner if the bar keeps dropping."

"When Fnatic plays on fy_snow... OLAFmeister gets an ace"