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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that Hitler invested in Minute Maid before he died? He heard they were 100% concentrated juice."

"Why did the electric car finish the race early? It had a short circuit."

"Someone with OCD visited my TL whilst I was napping and now all my tweets seem to be facing the same way."

"-Give it to me straight doc. -You'll never walk again. -Now give it to me gay. -You'll never stroll merrily down the boardwalk again."

"I was reminded of the Cleveland man that kept those women locked in his basement, so I wrote a basement joke... but I realised that it's beneath me."

"Damn girl, are you sandpaper? Because I want you to rub my wood."

"I would shave my beard... but it's kind of grown on me."

"Broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb twice before she got a hint."

"Testicle. It's life in a nutshell."

"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."