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Joke of the Day

"curious new Snapchat filter shows exact date and time of your death but refuses to be sent. then you notice: the time says five minutes ago."

"What do you call the urinal section of the bathroom? The place where all the dicks hang out."

"How come there's a History Channel that tells us what happened but not a Future Channel that tells us what's about to happen? That's racist."

"Why shouldn't you invest in muslim-owned businesses? They never show a prophet."

"My sex life has improved so much I'm thinking of asking someone else to join me..."

"If you assume all turtlenecks have sleeves, prepare to have your world rocked when this jacket comes off."

"Why did the banker bee go to prison? Embuzzlement! You're damn right"

"i had sex with your mother you see? it's funny because it's true"

"[Offensive] what did the Native Indian girl say while she was having sex? You're crushing my smokes dad."

"*navigation voice* BEAR TO THE RIGHT *gets eaten by bear*"