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Joke of the Day

"curious new Snapchat filter shows exact date and time of your death but refuses to be sent. then you notice: the time says five minutes ago."

"What's the difference between being erotic and kinky? Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole dam bird!"

"Pretty cool that the letters ""B.J."" stand for the two greatest things in the world: beef jerky & Billy Joel."

"Why wouldn't the Kabuto share his Potion? He was a little shellfish."

"it's never okay to hit a woman ! wipe her make up and fight her man to man"

"My boss fired me because of my lack of knowledge in regards to the workplace. After a few hours I finally found the exit."

"Why didn't the President fight with the chair? Because we don't negotiate with chair-orrists."

"I like my women like I like my coffee No pubic hair"

"A heart-shaped pizza just means less pizza and that's not a sacrifice I'm willing to make for love."

"TIL ~10,000 people quit smoking every year By dying. I'll ^show ^^myself ^^^out"