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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks."

"My wife says if this post gets over 1000 upvotes, I can get anal. Please upvote because I want this house to be spotless."

"Swimming is good for you. Especially if you are drowning."

"I bet Stephen King's kids aren't afraid of shit."

"Sometimes I hang out in tea shops waiting for someone to say ""Oolong"" so I can shout ""THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see Gregory Peck."

"A snail gets robbed by two turtles. The police interview the snail, asking for descriptions of the suspects. ""I don't know,"" the snail says. ""It all just happened so fast."""

"I don't want to die a virgin... ... it would really confuse my kids."

"Cripple jokes are terrible... I just cant stand them..."

"Another knock knock joke X: Knock knock. Y: Who's there? X: Doctor."