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Joke of the Day

"Another knock knock joke X: Knock knock. Y: Who's there? X: Doctor."

"""Did you just say something?"" ""Uhhh nope?"" ""Really? I could swear you just asked me if I wanted a hotdog."" ""No I didn't."" ""Good, because I'm vegan."""

"I was going to tell this gay joke... ...but fuck it..."

"[in bed] Her: Easy, cowboy. I'm not having unprotected sex. Me: No worries! Her: Where are you going? Me: To lock the front door. Her: ..."

"Why was the doctor in a hurry to move to the big city? He was running out of patients."

"[Bob Dylan giving singing lessons] I'd like you to sing it again, but this time plug your nose and put these 5 marbles in your mouth."

"Relationship threats: teens: i'll cheat on you 20's: i'll go to the bar with my boys 30's: I'm gonna watch all of our shows without you"

"What do you call a Canadian that's been run through a blender? Pure-eh"

"What do you call a conversation about weed? A diskushion."

"I'm a completely broke farmer. The other day I tried buying fertilizer on my only credit card and it was declined. I literally can't buy shit."