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Joke of the Day
"I used to follow my dreams, but they all got restraining orders."
Next Joke
"I still don't understand why we are supposed to eat the tampon afterwards"
"Me: I baked cookies! Who's the best Mom ever? Son: Oprah! Me: Gimme the damn cookies back! Son: See? Oprah GIVES, she doesn't take!"
"I haven't seen David Luiz this upset since Bart and Lisa got him sent to prison."
"A prostitute propositions a snowman, ""I can be gentle or dominant. I can be anything you want me to be."" The snowman hands her $20 and says, ""Be a snow blower."""
"You know what's the difference between a housewife and a politician? The housewife thinks about doing her taxes while having sex. The politician thinks about having sex while spending your taxes."
"Religion... That is all."
"Husband's note on refrigerator for wife: Someone from the Gyna Colleges called. They said the Pabst beer is normal. I didn't know you liked beer."
"What did the Chemist have with his Eggs? Barium, Cobalt and Nitrogen."
"I hate people who take drugs... specifically the DEA and US Customs. Edit: Thanks everyone for the free Internet points. Appreciate it. :)"