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Joke of the Day

"How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin? She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions."

"I just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It only took me six months, which is amazing considering the box says 2-4 years."

"When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them."

"What's the difference between skinny and squat? I never took a skinny on a girl's chest."

"Why don't they have driving classes and sex Ed on the same day in Saudi Arabia? Because the camels can't handle it"

"So hypothetically speaking, what do you think is the scariest mask they would let me wear in line at the bank?"

"How do they perform abortions at Hogwarts? Fetus Deletus"

"What do you call Einstein masturbating? A stroke of genius."

"You should never yell ""Fire!"" in a crowded theater The gunman will shoot when he's ready, it isn't polite to rush him"

"need a last minute valentine's day gift for that special lady? why not give her the timeless gift of my phone number"