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Joke of the Day

"So hypothetically speaking, what do you think is the scariest mask they would let me wear in line at the bank?"

"Cologne - because people shouldn't have a choice whether or not they want to smell you."

"Have you ever read ""The Longest Joke in the World""? Now you have."

"Q: Why did the eskimo wash his clothes in Tide? A: Because it was too cold outside."

"I received some food stamps the other day They tasted terrible."

"So, how do you make your truck look like Lance Armstrong? hang one tennis ball from the tailgate!!"

"Given the choice between Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, I would prefer Parkinson's. I would rather spill a little beer than forget where I put it."

"We do apathetic derision better than any nation on earth. Probably. Can't be arsed to find out...and all statisticians are cunts."

"Who was King Author's most well rounded Knight? Sir Cumference."

"Do you know why they can't make ice in Poland anymore? The lady that had the recipe died."