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Joke of the Day

"A joke my kid told me today. Him: dad guess who is the smallest family in the world? Me: I don't know, who? Him: the atoms family. Not bad for 7 years old."

"remeber: you hav the same number of hours in the day as this tree. and how much oxygen hav u produced? oh none? oh u CONSUMED OXYGEN!?!???"

"Using my toes to pick something up makes it hard to go to church on Sunday."

"How is a lonely twig like a piece of cling wrap? He can only stick to himself."

"The things that you love are what makes you who you are. I guess that makes me large breasts...."

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes *whack* ""damn"" and a bad skydiver goes ""damn"" *whack*"

"What's the worst part about cumming in 2 mintues? Spooning."

"The awkward moment when you realize you have a lot in common with the person you hate."

"I farted in my wallet now i have gas money."

"I was sitting on the toilet, constipated... The undropped turd asked me, ""Man, what did you eat?!"" ""A pound of cheese,"" I said. The turd said, ""You're shittin' me."" I said, ""I shit you not."""