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Joke of the Day

"""Seamstress, you come pleat me."" -Pants"

"A guy in a plane stood up & shouted ""HIJACK!"" All passengers got scared . . . Then from the other end of the plane a guy shouted back, . . . ""Hi JOHN"""

"I recently stopped sending monthly payments to my exorcist... Because of that my house was repossessed"

"Keep on Trying by Percy Vere"

"Dinosaurs went extinct because they heard Chuck Norris was coming."

"How did Helen Keller learn to masturbate? She was reading her lips."

"My son asked me today, ""Dad, what music did you like growing up?"" ""Led Zeppelin,"" I replied. ""Who?"" he said. ""Yeah, I liked them too."""

"What do dyslexic Koreans eat? Gods"

"What ""YSK"" means? Everyone keeps telling me that I should know..."

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have any kids? He only comes once a year"