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Joke of the Day

"Who is the fastest runner in history. Adam - because he was the first in the human race."

"The interviewer asked, ""Where do you see yourself in five years?"" The job candidate responded, "" I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."" Use it while you can, people!"

"My Grandfather has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"My teacher told me I should stop being consecutively late to school... I guess she can't handle people who are Re-tardy."

"What's the difference between a woman and a computer? A computer doesn't complain when you push a 3 1/2"" floppy into it."

"AROMATHERAPY CONNUDRUM: Spilling a large bucket of Lavender oil all over your carpet: Very stressful, or very relaxing?"

"What's below the Pyrenees? A pair of ankles"

"Why did the roman only smoke 490 blunts and not 500? Because XD"

"Real laziness is being excited when plans get canceled."

"Hey all you parents who recently named your kid Jax We get it you're unoriginal and watch SOA Hold on my daughter Grey's Anatomy is crying"