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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a red lemon? a Lenin. ;)"

"I almost cut my finger off cutting some celery to eat and all I could think is this never happens with cupcakes."

"Ah, I love self-deprecating humor. That's one more thing that won't love me back."

"I used to be an adventurer like you But then I took crippling adult responsibilities."

"Dating is good practice for parenting because you learn not to care when someone is crying in a restaurant."

"She's like a cat. I don't mean in bed, she just ignores me"

"*leans into microphone* My question is for Salt-N-Pepa. ""Hi"" ""Hey"" Hi.""Push It"" is about takin a dump, right? ""No"" ""Nope"" *hands friend $5*"

"Why did the boy take a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school."

"A Sigmund Freud light bulb joke. Q: How many Sigmund Freud's does it take to change a light bulb? A: Cocaine."

"Money is not a problem. The Problem is ""I don't have Money!"""