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Joke of the Day

"The worst part about being bitten by a venomous spider... ...Is that you're probably Australian"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I have never wanted to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth."

"Only 90's kids will remember this! *plays outside*"

"Why doesn't Batman like going to Robin's house? They don't like rich people in Robin's hood"

"My nan used to always tell me ""only boring people get bored"" I prefer to call it 'entertainmentally challenged'..."

"I dropped my nokia in the toilet didn't bother me since it's always been shitty."

"""Hey left ball!""...""What, right ball?"" Who's the penis in betweenus?"

"I asked my secretary if she new the difference between a blow job and lunch she said no, so I offer to take her out to ""lunch""."

"Her: You need to text faster Me: Not sure what you just sent. I'm still working on the texts from 3 weeks ago"

"Pizza will never tell you you're fat unless you're high as shit, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight."