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Joke of the Day

"Turns out I can hold my breath with a pillow over my face way longer than an old person. Innocent mistake.."

"One person's trigger warning... ...is another person's spoiler alert."

"If Oskar Schindler was your Uber fare... ...you'd be Schindler's Lift"

"What did the farmer say after he fed his cows pot? ""the Steaks are high."""

"Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?"

"Would the Government cope in a zombie apocalypse? Vacant, horrible, disoriented people stumbling around without purpose. Plus the zombies."

"what do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Hellifikno"

"I was expelled from school for masturbating in the showers The teachers said I ruined the trip to Auschwitz"

"Why was the electron mad? Well, it doesn't really matter..."

"Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. Keep your frenemies in a dark basement filled with bees."