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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I get the urge to run around naked.. But then I just drink some Windex. It keeps me from streaking."

"Congrats to everyone who just got cast in the new Star Wars movie. The film industry is telling you they think you look like an alien."

"What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar ? Robbery with violets !"

"The next time somebody complains about millennials, maybe remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hardwood floors."

"I'm bad at math, So the equation 2n +2n is 4n to me."

"Why was the robber bionic? He was holding up a bank."

"One thing my dogs and I have in common is that we never want me to go to work."

"I just freaked out! I woke up from a nap to find that my phone and wife were missing. It's all good though. I found my phone."

"Why will you never see a politician at your Concealed Weapons Permit class? Because people who purchase weapons legally are law abiding citizens."

"""Mom, dad, I'm gay"" *dad looks angry as heck* ""Gay for women that is! haha, erm... i love me some vajimbos & those boob things yes siree"""