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Joke of the Day

"Break a mirror and get 7 years of bad luck... Break a condom and get 18"

"What's worse than losing one arm? Losing both your arms."

"I've been dieting for 2 weeks now and so far I lost 5 Instagram followers."

"Two Jewish businessmen were discussing insurance. ""You need fire insurance, burglary insurance and flood insurance."" ""The fire and theft and burglary I can understand,"" said the other,"

"Whats Black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee, ya racist."

"How do find the blind man at the nudist colony? It's not hard."

"A tassel walks into a bar... The bartender yells out ""Hey, you have to leave! We don't serve ropes here!"" The tassel grins and says ""Nope, I'm a Frayed knot!"""

"[first day as homicide detective] Cop: any signs of forced entry? Me: yeah, a bullet somehow forced its way through his face & into his head"

"""Yeah, engage your core or whatever."" - impersonal trainer."

"let's get married but instead of kids we have nachos"