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Joke of the Day

"I've considered shaving off my beard But it's starting to grow on me"

"Why are rivers lazy? Because they never get off their beds."

"Grammar Tip: When the zombie apocalypse starts I will be using people who write 'would of' instead of 'would have' as human shields."

"Look! I can do my ABC's backwards! -""go on then"" -""nahh CBA"" Credit to 'Fweng chweng!'"

"What is the summit of trust? Receiving a blowjob from a cannibal"

"I forgot my work ethic at home today, but I did remember to bring my shenanigans and debauchery."

"Denied candy because I ""didn't wear red"". Kicked out of the office because I ""didn't wear pants"". I'm tired of these Valentine's Day rules."

"mom did you say we had four bouillon cubes or four billion cubes"

"Wine and cheese pair well together bc they are both the expired byproducts of other foods enjoy your trash snack rich people"

"Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won't understand how many calories are in it."