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Joke of the Day

"I just walked in on my manager vigorously masturbating. He told me to stop vigorously masturbating and get the hell out of his office."

"What do you call a dog with wings? Linda McCartney Today's TIL reminded me."

"What's the cheapest type of meat? Deer Balls. They're under a Buck!"

"""You are what you eat"" I chant furiously, shoving another roach in my mouth. Mushroom clouds keep growing in the distance"

"[getting my picture taking with the sports team mascot] ""I know you're not really an armadillo"""

"I heard you are what you eat Must explain why your such a huge dick"

"Why did the Geometry major marry a Brit? Because she was a cute angle."

"Everyone romanticizes the past until they get horribly sick and wake up covered in leeches."

"What is a capitalist's favorite fetish? Vore, because it's all about consumption"

"Did you hear about the new drug that makes its users apathetic? It's called Crystal Meh"